first impressions

You only get one chance to make a first impression.
There are many ads on the radio about how to do a good job interview,many classes on resume creation, there is speed-dating and on line dating whee you are writing an advertisement for you self. It is kind of a relief after all that hippie and yuppie stuff of becoming a better person or worker or boss or artist.
    All I have to to now is pretend to be good at whatever until the Short attention spanner across the table or laptop goes back to text and twitter. I am golden!

Exceptionalism rough comments welcome

A friend of mine recently recounted an experience that he had in a grocery store parking lot..
   A young lady (homeless maybe) asked him for money he had no cash so could not help. she then approached another woman with the same results. My friend and this woman discussed this interaction,him expressing concern over the fact that this issue of panhandling seemed to be on the increase and that worried him. She agreed and commented that it was really hard to know who was telling the truth. My friend responded  that in a way it did not matter, a generous act is worthy unto itself and it up to the recipient how to use these acts. She agreed and they parted. He later observed the same woman giving dog food to a man with a dog.
  Interesting. This little interaction allowed the other person to be more generous.  Something to remember for each of us and how we interact with ourselves in terms of society and all that comes with it.
  A little sidebar, my friend thought it might be enlightening? to consider why the woman gave dog food not cash or human food. This reminds me of my friends Grandfather whose hobby was picking "bums" and forcing them to eat breakfast. The paternalistic idea that he knew better than them what was good for them. Everybody I tell this story to says "Good for him" I am not so sure. It seemed odd to me at the time. Why not give these persons what they thought they needed?
  Reminds me of the story of a friend of mine who settled in Guatemala in the late sixties. The peace corps decided to help the village that had adopted him by teaching them to farm fish. These people were hungry but their perception was that this was because all their farmland had been stolen to grow bananas(and drugs). The helpers from America had the idea that if these poor ignorant villagers just learned about the good old protestant work ethic they would be a lot better off.
   The ponds were built and the fish grew and the peace core left and the villagers had a feast. So much for the fish farm. Is there a wrong or a right in this story? Maybe not. Neither party could actually solve the problem of a changing demography that this village was dealing with. They were  unwilling to adapt  and unable to get their farms back. Both parties were hoping for good and maybe neither understood the complete dynamics of a global situation. Many "helpers" went away thinking that the villagers were lazy stubborn and ignorant. The villagers may have had a different opinion.
    The story goes around the US that natives to this area sold land for liquor and trinkets. Here is a huge
'failure to communicate" Most if not all of the humans who lived here did not "GROK" the idea of ownership. These are my moccasins or clothes or whatever,but the idea of "owning land was completely out of their worldview. I do not think I have the words to express what I sense the Cochiti thought of their relationship to the land. I do however know that there was no sense that one could buy or sell land. Did the land own them? Did they "share" the land? I do not know. It seems that one could make a deal to farm or hunt on land that others had farmed. In some way one could have territorial disputes. In none of their interactions did it seem one could "own" The land. Maybe deals were made that were mot understood but I am sure that the land was not "Sold".
  Back to exceptionalism. OUR IDEAS ARE RIGHT. Which of course means that"Your " ideas are wrong. So the woman at the grocery store may have been part of that paradigm. The "homeless"  are at some deep level "wrong" lazy stupid, druggies, something that is wrong. The natives are wrong. Those villagers are wrong. I guess I really sense that wrong is not totally accurate. "less than us" is more precise. Those "other" are not as smart industrious and godly as we are so we must A) care for and train them. or if they are "dangerous" B) put them down. (any other will do)
 I think  that we have this idea that persons who have fallen on hard times are there because of their own weakness(including moral,for example that speculators and CEO's who demand huge salaries because they deserve sooo much more than "you other weaklings". I always bring this up because these same persons make mistakes they say "What do you expect , I am only human!"
 So did this woman give dog-food because she felt sorry for the dog having a "bad" owner? It could be she had no cash or human food or it could have been that she thought the man would use money for drugs and decided for him that that would not be good for him or the dog. We have a way of thinking in our culture that allows us to stand in judgment because we are entitled by where and when we were born. We think that we are better than because of the vast wealth of this land and because it attracted a lot of brilliant driven sociopaths who took over and are willing to work to the exclusion of all else for "personal gain". They are more "successful" than and feel superior to thos who will or cannot do as they do. 

Sport and oppression

Sport to me is practice for real life. Honor, integrity, teamwork, courage,all those things that help life go well for groups of people. I remember speaking with my high school coach on the subject of sport in school and him reminding me that I probably would not have attended high school without sport. So sports are important in life and society.
 That being said, I listen to these guys talk about the superbowl and how it was the most important thing in their lives and I cannot help but think that there is some way that all there spirit energy and power gas been directed towards a huge marketing tool that is run by the small group of sociopaths that care not for morality or humanity

Just one of those things

Last May I accidentally volunteered for a school fundraiser,an auction for Acquia Madre School. I showed up and they put me in charge of "security" wandering around the jewelry making sure that nobody pocketed anything while acting nice. So I showed up late as usual and was greeted by this hot c..uh beautiful woman in a  little black dress who directed me to the jewelry table and bade me stand around and look nice.
 So I found out her name was        and of course I stayed late to help with the breakdown(because I came late, not because of the little black dress). Anyway turns out that her son is in my sons class and she is single like me. So of course being me I do not do anything about this for months and months.
    Fast forward to the next school year(proof that I am a fast worker) I bump into her at a PTC (PTA for us older folks) and call her up later to discuss the meeting during this talks it slips out that I find her very attracted to her. Of course her response is the standard "let's just be friends." I don't say anything but in my head I am. "I already got 4, maybe 3, or so friends why do I need more?"
  Segue (still remember the day I learned this word, very upsetting experience having my little brother use a word I did not know) to health issues. I have always had, how do you say this delicately?  .... a sensitive stomach and have always managed it(or not) without comment or noticing(self absorbed?) that some other people did not have this experience(sort of like my childhood) excuse the over use of whachamacallits() I recently realized that only few people can read between the lines and they all know me from waay back so I am trying to use all the words that I think, very difficult task as a am a fast thinker and slow typer er ist I mean.
  Where was I ? Oh yeah the hot... person. Anyway Susanna(named changed to protect the guilty)  forced me to watch a movie about Polly where the Ben Stiller character has something called IBS. AHA. thank DR. comedy. So I had an epiphany and a name for something that had existed for years. (naming, another treatise soon)
   So fast forward from Polly (Rachel, if anyone is interested) a few years to a beautiful naturopath and a shy guy with a weird disorder.
    So long story short I am losing my treasured syndrome and still only friends.  Oh well there's always arthritis or something

Autobiography?

Often when people hear the stories of my childhood that I remember....what is that Chinese curse? "may you live in interesting times" The listeners tell me I should write a book. That sounds fun. Now that I am writing a little, maybe not so much. The funny thing is that sometimes I run into people with similar stories. We commiserate ,but still no book.  Once in a while you get the real tragedies(you know... death,starvation,stuff like that) and that does make my childhood seem like a fertile ground for dramedy.
    Anyway I told someone I respect I was thinking of writing a book. She asked the perfectly reasonable question of "why". Of course my answer was because people think I should. She did not think that was a good reason. I do not know that she is wrong,but I really cannot think of a better one.

Took the boys to the zoo yesterday. I struggle with the morality of this. The boys enjoy the zoo and learn some. They also get to hand out with their buddies who went with us.
The animals are trapped in these little cages,sort of a life sentence,although I guess most of them would be dead if they were not in confinement.
   So are we supporting the imprisonment of animals or the education of children,or in some kind of creepy ozymandias making a weird compromise?

Facebook vs google?

So on my cool profile thing I was asked to let people know about other blogs. I do another blog which is apparently associated with Facebook. So I tried to get this blog to talk to it NO WAY! Maybe they don't like each other?