Monday, January 2, 2012

who am I?

I listen to sports talk radio a lot. Colin Cowherd is very smart.  One thing he said recently sticks with me. "A lot of success is knowing who you are".
   I have been thinking about that ever since. Who am I? It seems that I do not really know.
I am a non hispanic white male born in America. I survived a psychologically interesting childhood and believe that my sanity was saved by going to Santa Fe Prep school. I was not mature enough to stick to college.
  Since I dropped out of college I have coasted through life taking it day by day. Drifting on the sea of life going where the wind blew me. I have used no force to give my life direction whether financial or or moral. I have a nagging feeling that I was raised to be a social warrior and had no real interest in that. I have a deep interest in sports especially track but did not have the talent to run for a living or the mental ability to deal with using that interest to use that interest to keep interested in education.
Now I am a farrier which seems to fit me very well. It is a simple business in terms of paperwork and overhead. It is very demanding physically which is very valuable to me. I am around horses and interesting people all day. I make pretty good money and when I am not working I am not losing money. Most important I am my own boss. At 47 though I think that I have 13 or less years of full time shoeing and as a life drifter I am not invested in social security and have no savings. With young kids I think maybe I should be planning the next deal. Having spent my whole life just putting my head down and getting through the day I am struggling mightily with the idea that I can both get through the day and plan for the future and act on a plan.

to be continued

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