Sunday, March 31, 2013

Righting wrongs or not

Listening to the Israeli prime minister on the radio the other day speaking on how the Palestinians should get over stuff that happened in 1948 and in 1967 because they were in the past.
  Later on the conversation turned to the holocaust and it was obvious that for the Israeli's it is still a fresh wound.
   It seems to to me that it is human nature to think that the other party should get over it when one hurts somebody else,whether it is a grievous wound and it does not seem to matter if the injury was purposeful or accidental. huge or small.
   The other thing that I have noticed is that the sense of being an injured party seems to justify all kinds of horrible acts which are justified as self defense of even a simple "We are the good guys (or injured party ) so our actions are necessary or good or whatever.
   The US drone attacks are a good example of just such a thing. Because it is us it is good and we are justified. It seems to be a very rare ability to put oneself in another's shoes.  Can we even imagine if Putin bombed some anti-Russian terrorists in the Us? We would not care if it was justified or correct or anything it would be war.
 I believe that in my personal life I try to understand where another person is coming from and adjust my words and actions accordingly. It is a strange thing,but it seems that in my family this is considered weakness or admission of wrongdoing and  a justification for attack. I have become more angry and defensive because of this perception and I theorize that this is part of the dynamic of Netenyahu's attitude. If any person or group show remorse empathy or hesitation our international and some of my interpersonal experience is that it opens us up to attack. My admiration for the folks exemplified by such as Ghandi and MLK and others increases every time that I feel that fear based on personal experience that then engenders the desire or need to attack. Th preemptive strike if you will.  So if our personal North Korea is acting aggressively how do we react? Do we figuratively send a stealth bomber by to scare them into not attacking? Do we take the risk of asking questions and listening to the answers? It seems that in our personal lives as well as in the global life there is no choice because our opposite number is too scared,greedy angry or something and is trying to take from us or destroy us and there seems to be no way to change their mind. For a person like me that is often a paralyzing situation because I believe that once you go down the path of fear based violence you take the others choice away too. If I gamble that there may be a reasonable solution and reach out in kindness and the other person is already set on violence then I have made myself vulnerable and feel defenseless.
   So the Israeli's and Palestinians both completely vulnerable and both victims and perpetrators of atrocities towards each other and with the horror of the Holocaust hanging over them seem to have no way to put down the sword of fear and anger. How can the rest of the world help them? It seems that the US is killing innocents all over the world and saying that it is okay because we are the good guys and then asking thees two groups to do the opposite and it just does not seem like that would make sense to either side.
the old do as I sat not as I do. 

Friday, March 29, 2013


I asked this lady out she said don't you want to keep your freedom and then promptly started dating another fellow. Anyway that depressing fact is not the point of my thinking and the song Bobby McGee where freedom is nothing left to lose.
  So I guess I am not so into the freedom she was talking about. I guess I like responsibility and all the stuff. Of course being me I am not sure that I do not like "freedom" although my history of actions (re priorities ) would seem to confirm that my "freedom" is a home that I stay with and take care of along with anybody involved in that home.
  To others freedom is having no obligations. To me freedom is getting to choose my obligations. As previously noted I now have an obligation to Fannie Mae that I hope I can get out of ahead of schedule,but until them I am chained down by this weird society that thinks that it is ok to have a 30 year obligation for housing?! I still cannot wrap my mind and spirit around this crazy idea.
  More on this. Many people understand that when one person has the power to decide if another eats that is not freedom. for the one on the bottom of the power rung.
   Freedom to the hermit crab is a really good shell. Freedom to the Monarch Butterfly is a whole different thing.  

Thursday, March 28, 2013


Went to the dentist today for a crown on the titanium root that I now have to replace the tooth that I broke supposedly from grinding my teeth at night due to stress? or food allergies? Any way the other broken tooth was bothering me so the dentist said they could do both today. Being the smart thoughtful person that I am I said sure! put it on the credit card!! so after the easy part of unscrewing the healing cap and putting in an abutment then making me chew silly putty for the one crown they then injected me (they still use the giant glass syringes from the past which according to a documentary I saw on netflix(punctured) oh wait it was an exaggeration( sure sign of mercury poisoning, I could not remember the appropriate word (dramatization) till after I published) of a true story. are better than the plastic ones but big pharma and insurance make much more money on plastic disposable syringes. So they take to tries to get me all the way numb (apparently my family has a tendency to too many nerve endings) I am all happy get the bad tooth all drilled and pay one million dollars and take my prescriptions(do not fill them unless you need them)  for vicodin and omaxacilinn (sp)spell check won't help me darn it)(never mind looked it upamoxdur forgot already,right back!amoxacillin! whew) and my nice numb mouth home. Now I am thinking holy you know what I think I need some vicodin. Well here's to aleve( who knew it only has one l?) and hopefully feeling better in the morning. Good thing I did not have work planned for this afternoon!!
 Apparently spellcheck is not into drugs,she was no help at all

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Bleeping mortgage!

Apparently only John Commuta and I( He is trying to sell something ) HATE mortgages(Thanks Bros). So I have been thinking about this strange reaction from friends and acquaintances. They all seem to think that I am at best obsessed with an insignificant issue. I take issue(or is it umbrage, I just wanted to write the word umbrage(twice!!!). There is a lot of conversation in the civil rights world about poverty and fear being tools for oppression.  A 30 bleeping year mortgage!!! What better way to control a population than to have the big guy owning your house. If a person tries to stand for social justice but there is any threat to their income they will lose their home and be "homeless" a title with judgment fear and distaste and even if they live somewhere else they have no credit because the "man" has control of credit rating industries. So it is a very effective tool for silencing dissent. So.....

Monday, March 25, 2013


 Turns out I have a limited amount of time and energy and I spend that time and energy on what is important to me. You do not have to ask me what is important to me just watch.
  Some of my favorite sayings or Dichos have to do with this. In Spanish "Hay gran trecho entre dicho y hecho. In England "Many a slip twixt cup and lip"  "Actions  speak louder than words.
  For me personally in this case it is more about self knowledge or discovery. Look back at what you choose to do or not do every day and find out what is really important to you. Or watch what others do and find out what is important to them. A fun and revealing exercise.
   A funny story when a young person was complaining about not being able to get her homework done. I told that if she was not doing it then it probably was not very important to her. She became angry. Of course later I heard that "Don't tell him ,but he is right."
  One that strikes closer to home years ago i was working for another farrier who frequently corrected my finish work on hooves. I asked one day semi- rhetorically when I would get good at finish work and he simply said "When you start to give a damn." I took that to heart, although in all honesty finish work did not become very much more important. At least in that case I have understanding of the situation.
  Since then,with an interruption for some very time and emotion consuming life changes I think back on those to small incidents and now that I have some time begin to really grok my personal sense of Socrates famous quote, " The unexamined life is not worth living." Maybe for me it is not the extended naval gazing that I pictured in my mind. ( I see a big fat Buddha looking at his belly button) or long theoretical philosophical discussions with a lot of fun theoretical sense an nonsense thrown in, but a practical consideration of the questions "What did I do today. "Do I respect the person whose deeds those are?

Sunday, March 24, 2013

  Thinking about school and how my friends child is not enjoying it at all. The lack of ability to be flexible and allow all or at least most children to develop and thrive is still a huge problem. It is interesting to watch the corporate  and religious fanatics inexorably take over the charter school movement as parents faculty and administration try to use it to create the flexible school. That being said the charter and interzone options do not address the underlying cause of uneven education. The root problem is still social inequities visited upon OUR (a society is parent to every child) children by families and society. It seems to me that a healthy society would expend the resources to give all it's children a chance at a good life. I would only take a couple of generations to turn the whole thing around.
How do you encourage a youngster to to not give up when something seems hopeless to them.
  Ben was tying his own laces for a few days now he seems to not be able to do it so I said just keep trying, but he does not  want to . How to help without taking over or helping him feel helpless. HMM

Saturday, March 23, 2013


A day at defensive driving school. Reminded how fragile life is.
  For me the daily choice to balance safety vs risk. How and why do we make these daily decisions and how do we react when they are taken out of our hands?

Thursday, March 21, 2013

life lessons?

Darn kids outgrew their shoes again! OK the new dog. She is a real female dog,if you know I mean ate one pair.
  We need new shoes and the boys want treats and toys. I tell them that they can buy with their own money. Ben goes into his strong box and shows up with $70. What the ???? I give up trying to figure out where he got it. Ben finds even more money and decides to give Soren (apparently spellcheck does not speak Swedish?) $25. I tell them that they have to buy shoes with their own money. Ben, of course is delighted and Soren throws a fit and locks himself in the bedroom for twenty minutes. When Soren is ready to be with people again we head off to the bank (for Daddy to deposit money) and then to target. for shoes and toys.
  Twenty minutes of trying on shoes and we find two pairs. Endless minutes in the toy department and Soren decides to put the shoes back. As a parent I am in a a quandary. Most parents would make an executive decision. I explain to his tiny six year old brain that he won't have shoes. He does not care so I choose not to change the paradigm on him and leave the choice to him.
  My story is that I let him make the "wrong" choice and that maybe he will learn from it. I am very aware of the strong parent belief that children crave structure and will become criminals and believe that we do not care about them if we do not run their whole lives. The military paradigm, if you will. As over against ( I have always wanted inappropriately us old Mr, Kurth's compare and contrast phrase.) the new age belief that children are much wiser than adults. That is a separate but connected issue. Anyway(my favorite useless word) Oh yeah ,I forgot, we spent so much time on money "lessons" (taught by an antimoney parent so probably worse than useless, although I guess it is an improvement on my Mom literally tearing her hair out and screaming in the parking lot of The Bank of Santa Fe in 1974. Anyway, hey how did Ii get off onto that subject? Double anyway. We missed the goshdarn PTC( one of those weird things that bugs people like me, when and why did it change to PTC from PTA?) .
  Fours hours later I am rethinking my whole "right" and "wrong" deal. Soren still has to figure what he is going to wear for the next month but he and Ben had a lot of very creative fun,practiced negotiating sharing and communicating in a way that the shoes would not have aided. Now they are busy copying out their artwork to hand out to class mates tomorrow.
   People keep telling me I am a great Dad. I have a hard time believing it,but at least I know they are getting %100 effort. 


I have many complaints about the school system and the 2 schools my to wild monkeys go to. However I tend to keep my mouth shut because A) The worst threat in my house for bad behavior, is "No school for you tomorrow sonny!" and B) The faculty and staff of both schools know and like both kids.
   As my little brother said when I commented that my kids like school"Mine too, what is wrong with them?" Our answer is, of course, nothing.
   All I can say is they must be doing something right over there!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


So apparently work is not the healthiest exercise and the six weeks of yoga I did in 1985 is not a life time supply so since I refuse to do yoga or pilates it is back to jogging the arroyos.I headed up the little arroyo behind my house under the highway where the Santa Fe style graffiti( This bridge was built in 1929 as part of the wpa projects of the great depression) and up towards the hills several long pipes under roads and around a fence across the arroyo. A weird deal, arroyos are considered waterways and supposedly we are not allowed to fence or otherwise obstruct waterways because that would impede water traffic

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

first impressions

My Mother, I was going to say my Sainted Mother, but not only would it be untrue, she would be insulted if she heard or read that. (How is that for a run on sentence?) Geez now I have pain in my wrists from typing like 12 minutes a day(with the exception of yesterday when the Blogger Overlords did not like me dissing the banking industry and erased my inspired treatise on mortgage eviltry (new word).
  Anyway Mom liked to talk to me about the Superlative Horse a short story out of the Mideast about a poor young horse kid who gains the interest of the Sultan because he is such a good judge of horseflesh. The young man is sent out to find the best horse in the world or,of course, die. When the protagonist finally returns and  reports that  superlative horse is on the way everybody wants to know what color how big what sex and the young man no knows none of those things. He only knows that it is the best horse in the world.
  The lesson being similar to our little dicho in English "you can't judge a book by its cover." She always told me this story in reference to me. I never did figure out if I was supposed to be the horse the kid or the sultan. She may have had some whole other issue in mind and I totally missed the point.
  We now live in a culture that is all based on first impressions. I somehow as a very young person got the idea that making a good first impression was only for those without true substance. This has stuck with me throughout my dealings with the world. A person who dresses nicely always arouses a little suspicion that they are lacking confidence or ability and trying to hide the fact. One of the odd things about this is that the majority of people think just the opposite.
    Is there a lesson or point to this little story. I guess not, just an observation of an interesting phenomena in my life,although now that I think of it, maybe it is about the difficulty of cross cultural communication .
   I grew up in my own little world and as my old track  track coach told me, it appears that I cobbled my sense of integrity and morality from reading. So I have a lot of little miss-communications with persons who I think grew up in the same culture as I did. I made many decisions based on my view of the world and was basically mute for 5 years during a shall we say interesting childhood. Because of this and residual shyness(whatever that is) I find that I seem to think a little differently about the world than most people I know . The persons who most think like me are all kind of weird, which makes me think that contrary to my long held belief of being "normal" maybe I am a little weird too.
  Anyway it seems that one can be a vain clothes horse or not care at all about clothes or purposely dress "poorly for some reason and it means nothing about one's true nature.

Monday, March 18, 2013


One of the great evils of our world is the crazy idea that a normal person should think it reasonable to take 30 years,most of ones working life, to pay for a home. I simply fail to see how so many Americans have been hoodwinked into thinking that this OK. I remember some heated arguments with one of my brothers over his kooky theory that he made money with the interest tax credit. Even if you pay %70 on your income you are still spending an extra full dollar to save $.70. This does not make sense. If one has to pay exorbitantly for a home one might as well take advantage of the tax credit. Of course I may be tilting at windmills. It seems that I stand alone in the sensible opinion that a person should just have a home. I do not think that ever in the history of humanity have so many been enslaved to the bankers for our very shelter. Even if shelter took a lot of time it was one's own choice of how much to work on your shelter.
  Here is a big hint that these mortgage thingies are at best a horrible by product of shortsightedness and more likely an instrument of greed perpetrated by greedy intelligent sociopaths on the rest of us. My other brother told me that bailing out the poor and in some cases innocent folks that lost their homes in the last few years would be punishing the folks like him that followed the rules. So instead we bailed out the billionaires who had their personal wealth protected by foreign banks and bankruptcy rules to the tune of several trillion dollars. A friend had the temerity to suggest that a mortgage is just a formality. I said yes until you get sick ,lose your job or have a messy divorce, then you find that if you have a mortgage you don't own your house. A foreign owned bank owns it and you are on way out and if you are lucky you can rent another hose belonging to the same group while they sell your old house to some other poor sucker.
   My friend Alessandra brought up the fact that buying new cars is a bigger waste of money than a mortgage, at least a house appreciates. I 100% agree that buying a fancy car or SUV is a silly waste of money especially if you are not wealthy. Of course we are a society built on image and first impressions so a fancy car gets you the girl (or guy) Anyway this does not make me feel any better about the evils of the 30 year mortgage industry.  more tomorow


Gosh darn computer erased long treatise on the evil of mortgage lenders. Got to put the kids to bed. I guess I will rewrite tomorrow

Saturday, March 16, 2013


So what do we do with the bitter experiences in life? Learn from them? make lemonade?
  One saying that always bugged me "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" What the bleep does that have to do with the reality of growing up in a dysfunctional home? Sometimes what doesn't kill you just cripples you.
   Even worse after somebody young dies "The Good Lord doesn't give anything you can't handle!" Well the person who is dead obviously doesn't feel that way.
  Of course those sayings and my response do not address the issue of how do we as individuals and groups handle the " bad" stuff that happens in the world.  The parentheses because many believe that there is no "good or bad" there is just being.  anyway everybody seems to agree that some things are ,on the surface at least, bad.  Early death war betrayal childhood abuse those kinds of things.
   If you give in to the cynicism you can become your own worst enemy. If you are unrealistically optimistic you can once again be your own worst enemy. How do you separate the crippling from the inconvenient or really scary?  How do you experience life to its fullest without going nutso? 

Friday, March 15, 2013


Suddenly after six weeks of stupid diet and all kinds of naturopathic medicine my gut feels strangely calm.  I am reminded of that old saw "never give up" The last week I was frustrated and irritable because I was making little progress in terms of feeling better. I was ready to give up and go back to my old dietary habits.
  I reckon perseverance has in this case paid off.
      The art of knowing when to never give up and when to throw in the towel

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Night "run"

I have mentioned this before, I remember clearly the day(actually night) when my home town became too big for me. Whenever I consider moving somewhere smaller , I always think that with 7 BILLION humans on Earth there is a reason that none of them live in Wyoming.
  Anyway when I was in my 20's I continued my tradition of eating a pound of spaghetti a pound of cheese and two cans of tuna (my own personal "pound cake" and going on a midnight run. Anyway on that 2 am I turned for home while running without trails or road and I could not see where I was going because of all the lights in my face. I ended up running into a huge cholla and limping home in a tiny bit of pain.
  So The pretty naturopath convinced me to find out if I have food allergies and has convinced me that I once again need regular exercise.  She recommended yoga. I did my six weeks of yoga in the winter of 1985 and I firmly believe that that is a lifetime supply. So yesterday I ran out  of daylight. My really old track coach had recently told me that there were great headlamps now that made night like day(some sort of biblical end of days?) So I figured what the heck. Of course being me I could not find the fancy $45 headlamp. I did however find the $7 in a cap led light and figured if something is worth doing, it is worth doing halfa%*&d. So at 9 pm I off I went..... at a slow walk. Once I got to the arroyo life was easy and I was running. Although when I was young a run was a desperate race against memories and La Llorona at 6 minute miles. Today a nice relaxing jaunt at 12 to 18 minute miles. After a few minutes I realized that my cheap light was more of a hindrance than a help. I turned off and suddenly I was in a night world . The soft cool breeze caressing me and the night embracing me in a way that I rarely feel. A sense of peace and calm floated with me for the next thirty minutes until I stepped in a hole left by somebodies backhoe. I walked the last bit home, but I felt peace and contentment 

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Do not assume! And traffic safety.

A few years ago I noticed that the police started parking in the driving lanes when giving out citations. This bothers me even though I am guessing that somebody did a study somewhere showing that drivers notice the police cars more and therefore run into them less often.
  So every time I see this I am a little irritable with this jerk blocking traffic and causing a hazard(I've never seen this imaginary study) I feel a little bit of "what the bleep are they thinking?"
   Today We are all whizzing down the highway at 65 and there is one of those arrogant jerks parked half in the slow lane with not even a poor captured speeder in front of them. Is seems I was not alone in assuming that this guy is just abusing his power as an officer of the law. Of course it turns out that there was an accident just up the road blocking driving lanes that he was trying to warn us about. So of course several cars became a hazard as we suddenly braked and got out of the fast lane. I do not know why the other cars did not realize the police car was there as a prewarning of the accident. I can only guess that human nature being what it is, they also made false assumption as to why he was there?
    One of those things that sticks in ones head forever is a young man who was killed when he ran into a street sweeper on I25. this morning coming over Tesuque hill a bunch of us north bound commuters got in a logjam behind a street sweeper on 285. Cars were swerving and braking in a not so safe way. Is there a better (safer) way to clean the highways?
   Seems they (by they I mean Al Gore & co.) invented this cool thing called the interwebs or something maybe they know why the cops are in the traffic lanes for routine traffic stops.
  I am back, I could find nothing on this specific issue maybe the interwebs need a tuneup

Tuesday, March 12, 2013


These days when one orders online the seller seems to have all your information already available. It is very convenient not to have to type in your whole name and email address etc. when signing a petition or ordering useless junk from Amazon.
 When the nice computer asks if I want to save all my information I always say yes. Of course the thought of a strange computer having access to all my private information makes privacy a thing of the past.

Monday, March 11, 2013

more on competition.

Competition is central to animal existence. It is strange to me that conservatives seem to have forgotten that cooperation is central to animal existence. It is dissonant for me to speak ill of competition, because I latched on to track and to a lesser extent soccer as live-savers in the midst of a very interesting childhood.
  I remember years later I told my old ( don't read this Fred) track coach that he saved my life. He demurred saying that I was seeking something and he happened to be there with this experience which I proceeded to make the most of. In my mind I picture a life preserver thrown off the back of a swiftly disappearing boat.
  This feeling of almost being swept away by the vagaries of life gives me empathy for those who never saw a lifeline or were unable to hold against the current.
  Anyway(life line back to original subject) Competition is a fine motivator as it seems to be programmed into human nature. For some reason the national mood seems to be that that is the only motivator besides fear. So we get these notes home from school that k through 2 graders are playing too much when there is ample evidence that play and fun are great motivators and excellent ways to learn. I am not saying that fear does not motivate and that the desire for victory does not motivate. I am saying that it is just alright with me if kids play and have fun while they compete and learn.
  It is funny I also remember talking about too much athletics in school and my old coach (who I remember telling me to go to a college with a good track team so I would have a reason to stay when I doubted my reasons for being there. No don't ask) and him responding that I should consider what track did for me in high school. ( I had to be in attendance at least three days a week in order to compete, so I attended school during soccer and track season)
    So we reduce art and recess and we suddenly have a lot more ADD and ADHD. (I do know that all the symptoms cannot be controlled by diet and physical activity, free play includung art and good diet,but that does not mean that we should not use them for what they do work for!)

Daylight Savings?

I would like to find out where all the daylight I have saved is being banked?

Saturday, March 9, 2013

competition morality communication

There is a idea in America that was birthed in Europe and the Siberian Steppes that those in power are in power because they are better than those who are not in power. This so permeates our culture that there is a whole swath of us who have no idea that there are other ways of thinking. The "conservatives in America have wholeheartedly embraced this idea. It is not an idea it is a way of being. Bullying banking and all other crimes are Ok under this if you get away with it Lance Armstrong was a hero until he faltered, now he is just another loser. As Warren Zevon wrote for Linda Rondstat "When you lose you lose alone."
  In my mind this is the real evil in America
We have these crazed pundits and preachers screaming about the "traditional family "and homosexuality and those naughty poor who cannot get their act together and all the while we are worshiping at the altar of Mammon. There is no morality in worshipping actors athletes and Donald Trump.

Friday, March 8, 2013

cross cultural communicatio

  This matter has been on my mind since Kevin wrote to me about the woman giving a man dog food.
  For some reason I recently looked up dehumanize the other day. It seems to fit into the whole communication thing.
  There are several social change groups who are strong advocates that most if not all human conflict is rooted in (after fear) our inability to accurately communicate with each other. (the reevaluation counseling community and Marshal Rosenberg nonviolent communication group both come to mind.)
  I over the last 6 years have struggled with this with my brothers and sisters after our mother's death. How much of what happened was our inability to communicate and actually "hear " what we were saying and meaning. It seems really attractive to hope that it was all lack of ability to truly communicate.
  In some ways the anger and resentment is easier to deal with as one does not have to actually deal with others feelings and reality around hard stuff. On the other hand maybe it is unrealistic to think that if we only could speak true and hear true all would be well.
  As My Mom said on e day not long before she died. "I thought all along that clear communication meant agreement. Now I am not so sure."
   My brother sent me a theory from a theologist that culture had decided that violence was enjoyable and bad in order to create guilt and control groups of people.
  My theory is that we are animals and predators therefore we are/were genetically programmed to kill and every species seems to have some sort of ritualized combat for mating rights. So it seems to me that humanity  is trying to evolve past physical violence as a way to settle disputes and decide whose genes are to be passed on. Of course for humans that is a male centered view of things. Anyway, that is one of my many problems with religion and a lot of philosophy. The belief that we were in a state of grace and need to get back to it. I contend that we were ignorant and are slowly evolving towards a state of grace. 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Boys will boys

First I went into the free private school to pick up my older boy from school. Both his current teacher and his first grade teacher stopped me to tell me how great he is. Something nobody can get get too much of. His is smart kind etcetera.
  Then he got in the truck and we went to pick up Soren. They proceeded to fight and whine for 20 minutes till I threatened their sugar  supply. So we get home and Ben is very proud of his latest accomplishment. "Hey guess what! I barfed on the trampoline!!" Great! Now they get to play with the hose 

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

competition? Well more like stream of consciousness

So there seems to be this idea in the schools again that competition is the only way to motivate people.
   Every day at the unconstitutional (under god) pledge of allegiance the principal reminds us that we are behind Acequia and Tesuque in our after school first in math. the winner each month gets a pizza party. The loser? Well I guess they go on welfare.
   Now I am not one to speak out against competition because my focus on Track and Soccer kept me sane during my high school years. Of course I do not remember wanting to beat or humiliate others on my way to victory . It was very clear to me in track that I was running from fear and running towards. joy or life or something positive. I remember liking (too weak a word) being goalie because I knew I was the last line of defense. Anyway as usual I have gotten off track and started 3 subjects when I could have stuck to one, At least I am no longer using one word when ten will do.... I always complain the The New Yorker uses ten when one will do. However when people who do not know try to read stuff I have written, it is often made clear that one must use at least enough words to make sense without psychic interpretation.
  Alright, so it is not the competition that bothers me so what is it?
  It seems too come back to some sort of puritan idea that children do not naturally learn. That we adults must force their recalcitrant lazy ignorant minds and spirits to learn. This also ties into the do everything parents(Who are GREAT, by the way) who keep trying to figure out how to motivate the parents who won'n(can't) help out at the school. I don't say it out loud, but my thought is the ones who can are here doing what needs to be done. There may be some parent sitting around full of energy with nothing to do not at the meeting but not many. Most of those absent parents have issues, whether financial or otherwise that keep them from coming. Although The CPA did laugh when everybody was wondering what word(s) we could use to get more parents to volunteer when I recommended IRS. So maybe it is just as simple is telling parents. You volunteer X hours a week spend the weekend in the pokey.
   Hmm..... way off subject... again... Anyway(A word I seem to way overuse) IO tink that younsters thirsty for knowledge and that the schools forget that.

To make a long story short. Ben is very happy because he came in 3rd on the best boat competition(with veery little help from dad, and both Ben and Soren are totally uninterested in winning the first in math and they both love compass learning which does not beat the snot out of other schools and does not win any pizza contests.

  So now I am concerned that they will not be outer directed enough to succeed financially ion our society that rewards amoral workaholic dehumanizing effort of goodness and cooperation.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Good? Evil?

There is a quote from some famous yogi or guru or whatever, " Out beyond good and evil there is a meadow,I will meet you there."
  Being raised in a society that is all about winners(good) and losers(bad) and in a family that was all about good(losers,poor) and bad(winners,rich) I really cannot wrap my mind around this concept.
  There is a state of being in which things just are.?? Interesting. 
  In my family's estate hassling over the last six years we had a mediator who told us about an old Indian story where the young brave tells the wise man about a dream where there are two wolves in his house. An angry slavering mad wolf and a kind caring wolf. The old man tells him these are the two aspects of your spirit battling. The young man says "Which will win?" The old man asks him"Which one will you feed?" This obviously is not an American story. We new Americans seem to feed off anger and violence. 
  Our stories are Dirty Harry and Rambo. I remember a classic John Wayne movie, where his character convinces the peace loving Quakers to take up arms and kill the bad guys Thus they are saved.
   I somehow grew up with this seemingly unpopular idea that morality trumps all. It seems to me that we live in a society, like the Calvinists, that worships success at the expense of all morals. This bothers me but it seems that there is so much pressure from our society that it becomes easier and easier to just give in and be like all the gamblers who created the most recent economic boom and bust. 

  I don't make the rules I just take advantage of them
  Winning isn't everything it is the only thing
  Everybody else is doing it.
  As my Grandfather said."those Indians ought to go back where they came from." His daughter "But Daddy,they were here first.!" 
"Humph, well they should be good losers and go away!"
   So I am very confused about how to get along in a world that rewards on an amoral, if not actually immoral, basis. I know what I think should be rewarded. Altruism moral courage kindness justice etc. I know that in the world none of that matters. Actually I think that is overreaching. there is a strong desire in humans for fairness justice and integrity. Of course some, if not most people see fairness through their own eyes. This means that what is fair to one person or group seems patently unfair to another.
  Property is theft I stole it therefore it is mine. We should all share equally. Two opposite and equal ideas.

 So back to good and evil. I have a feeling (theory) That humans created this ideas. Evil is that which harms us (humans, nations, tribes) Good is that which helps these groups. Then of course there is long term vs short term.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Two bads equals okay??

I am a member of a goat milking coop. Every week I go milk goats and do the goat chores and then drive around town with the goat milk in the car for a while.
 Yesterday I forgot the milk in the car. I went put this morning and found the bottle upside down and empty in the back. An absolute disaster! How on Earth am I going to clean up a gallon of milk!?!?
    Luckily there is a whole in the bottom of the car! a little work with a towel and one damp carpet. 

Sunday, March 3, 2013


The last 6 years of my life have been very stressful. Or should I say interesting. Stress can be a subjective experience as we all pretend to know.
  I come from a smart and intellectual family, which of course made me a strong anti-intellectual. Anyway I have figured out that there are different kinds of knowing(I know I know, there are probably a billion treatises on this very subject).
   By the way I love word processors er...computers. When I was a wee little bairn there were these things called typewriters and they were horrible. One little mistake and you had to throw the whole page away until of course somebody invented white out or liquid paper. Which turned out to be a drug but that is a whole different story. Now carbon paper... that was cool stuff...
   Where was I? Oh yea stress. Well since my external living experience has settled down. End of estate battles moving three times divorce etc. Friends have been telling me that I have lost weight("You look good ,have you lost weight?") I still weigh the same so this started my thinking on the ubiquitous First world issue of fatness and goodness. What is that saying? "You can never be too thin too young or too rich."
   So I am no longer all stressed out I look... not happy not healthy.... I look thin. Interesting. A person who is thin is good a person who is fat is bad? unhealthy? lacks willpower?
   The funny thing is that in the "good old days" a fat person was known to be rich. The theory is that before food was plentiful a fat person was someone who had access to vast resources. A  thin person was a person who lacked the ability to obtain enough calories.
  With the advent of processed food the whole world is turned upside downside. Fatness is called obesity and is the property of the poor who " do not have the moral fibre to get rich" or the"self control" to avoid food that cause obesity. Foods that the human body has adapted to with low caloric value high fiber and vitamin and mineral content are now expensive and hard to find. So poor and or overworked people tend to eat high calorie low fiber foods to fill up on. Of course stress reactions caused the "munchies" and cortisol release which both cause weight gain. So in first world countries the poor are fat and fat is judged as morally inferior and has actual health side affects such as heart disease and diabetes.
  So what happens when I feel less stressed? I have lost weight!