racing the ghost

When I was young and would do night runs cross country out in the Caja Del Rio just north of Santa Fe I would sometimes get this feeling of exhilaration mixed with fear and on the return trip I could feel the spirit of my previous runs on my shoulder. I knew that I had to beat him home or I would die. Those were some of the hardest and , I am sure fastest, runs of my life. I would touch the safety icon and know I had spent the last of my energy. The feeling of victory was just as strong as any official race I ever ran. Over the 2to3 years that this lasted I had maybe 20 of these experiences. I wonder what would have happened if I lost? Was it a true feeling. Did I lose and never find out? Who was the ghost?
  Funny thing, now in most video races you can race your own ghost,but you do not die if you lose. Jaime