Thursday, April 11, 2013

Try and try again

Destiny Allison had a cool little graphic on her blog of an arrow point skyward"what we think success looks like and another arrow that was all twisted up where the tip eventually points skyward. "how success is."
  I have been actually trying to deal with stomach (that word really needs an e on the end) ills for the first time in my life for about forever(really about 8 weeks).
  For the first 30 years I thought my gut was normal. To show the weird way my mind works(maybe not just mine) I saw a movie where they made fun of irritable bowels syndrome and I thought "Oh that is my stomach(e). Shortly after that I discovered Imodium and was a happy camper. Of course I had these chronic headaches and somebody doctory told me I probably had fibromyalgia. I asked about treatment and got bored halfway through a long winded explanation and decided that I did not have fibromyalgia, whatever that was.
  So taking tons of Ibuprofen for back and headaches and ton of imodium for you know what I was pretty happy until my finger started hurting. That is when I went to the naturopath who told me that the arthritis is probably from immune response caused by covering up the symptoms of food allergy or sensitivity.
  * centuries into this food allergy diet (with of course some timeouts for wine and one for cake) I am ready to throw in the towel. However there is Destiny's post. This reminds me of a few years ago right after I had discovered the my physical strength had limits. I was trying to move a pile of roofing tin and had just about given up. I thought "One more push then I will give up and leave the whole project undone. Of course that time the pile moved .or I thought it moved, one millimeter. I redoubled my efforts and was able to remove the obstacle and finish my little project.
  When I was younger I never had doubts like that. If I thought I could do a project I did what it took to get it done. Of course the few times I did not think something feasible I did not even try. This did leave many things undone, but it was useful once a project was commenced.(sometimes big words are fun)
  Anyway it does not sit well with me to throw in the towel now, because I like to think that I only give up when the task turns out to be impossible, not just really difficult. So I listen to the story of King Richard watching the spider try again and again until the web is finally spun and continue to eat a very limited diet. for another day. looking for the day when my stomach may end up not needing that e after all

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