Tuesday, May 7, 2013


Laying in my bath(cause I do not have a hottub) grumpy and tired. I have noticed that when I am irritable tired or in pain that it is easy to look to the outside world for reasons(excuses?)
 Any way remembering driving by my childhood home the other day and my two boys wanting to go by and see their old house. What the heck do I say to them? I was already tired from a long hard day so tight away the feelings of bitterness and anger come back up What the bleep was my bleeping family thinking?!!!
  In the bath I was getting all riled up again and a voice in my head speaks to me You're a hero aren't you? Of course I answer that being a logical response to somebody asking one a question. "i try to be.." Well heroes don't whine, pout, sulk or brood." Well that sounded kind of like an insult.. "But I am right!"
  Superego or guru or whoever he is answers "And what good does that do you?"
  Two days later I still hear the id complaining about injustice and unfairness and all sorts of perfectly true issues of the day, but with the new turquoise heart and the goldarn voice in my head it does not seem as important anymore..

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